A little something I created for a PhotoShop contest at Worth1000 in November of 2003.

Ah, the agony of a blank canvas. In this case, the orange skin of the favorite seasonal gourd.

Years past I’ve done a spider (apple corer carved eyes, thin slits cut from the flesh of the sides and rotated to protrude as legs), failed adventurer (leather fedora, coiled whip at the side, and an expression of mortal dismay cross-eyed toward the sword blade running it straight through), various ghouls (the most grotesquely deformed specimens I can find whose peculiarities are adapted into distorted expressions worthy of Bill Waterson), and a demon whose slanted eye leftovers were implanted at the temples to become horns.

In 2001 (the year of the spider) I wanted to try out the “first-time/last-time parachuter,” vertically bisected and tipped face-down into a puddle of innards on a sheet marked with a bulls-eye. Unopened chute still attached intact. Unfortunately, I’d settled on this design in early September prior to the WTC attacks, and thought it would be in pour taste given the fresh images of the tragedy. I’m tempted to revive it now, especially with more surface area on the front walk at this home.

However, I’m also interested in being lazy. Working solely with the pumpkin, or with as little accessorization as possible, is more appealing to me. I can always fall-back to a popular theme applied unusually, such as a pirate-o-lantern, but it lacks that slight edge of perversion I normally look for.

For now it sits there, mocking me: all 26.72lbs of spheroid vegetable matter. But my day will come…

During the Liang dynasty, Daruma Taishi sought to teach Chan Buddhism to the Shaolin monks in the Henan province of China. Owing to the sedentary nature of the scholastic life, the monks were unable to withstand the rigors of the ascetic practices which Taishi used to help focus the body, spirit, and mind along with his teaching. He overcame this by introducing exercises based on a system of fighting so that both body and spirit could be strengthened in tandem and a greater depth of religious understanding attained – for how could the mind, housed in a fragile body, otherwise be so controlled?

Or so the records on the history of karate would have us believe. There are some variations on the contributions of Taishi (also the Bodhidharma) to Shuri-ryu, recorded both by the Chinese and Japanese styles which have descended therefrom.

Regardless of the details I like this interpretation, as there is certainly truth to be had in it. Sleep has only been the first part in the equation of overcoming my long-present mental fog. As my rest has been improved and some other nervous (literally “of the nerves,” not “anxious”) agitation has been reigned in, my ability to focus has improved considerably, along with my exercise tolerance. When I perform that exercise, even in small portions, the benefit of the refined sleep is magnified.

I spent several years avoiding the triggers to my suffering, structuring my life as to be uncomplicated by it. In doing so I also robbed myself of the necessary stresses to maintain sufficient physical conditioning in a no-win situation: any attempt at vigor cost me dearly in the very near term (24-48 hours worth) as pain, extra fatigue, etc. Instead, I fell out of shape and had to live only with a reduced stamina.

Now I’m faced with my history of increasingly large pants and a daunting goal of working my way back up the chain to something I’m more comfortable with. Engaging metabolism while still retaining enough energy for the day (the intolerance is decreased, not removed) is a balance I’m still trying to find. I’m very grateful for the chance to try, though, and in keeping with my personal philosophies that means I must do, within reason, all I can to seize that opportunity.

Especially as I now have a child in school, and traces of every conceivable communicable disease will be wafting in the door behind her this winter, resulting in many a sleepless night for children and parents both.

I lacked the time this weekend to make significant headway on the story. I did get a few notes in here or there, and was able to rework some dialogue that wasn’t sitting well with me (the feel evolved into something incongruent with knowledge already in the possession of the characters).

As usual, the new draft elements are very rough and reflect the specific frame-of-mind in which they were written – a context unintentionally projected into the voicing that has to be torn out and changed during editing into the larger scene. But the raw materials are there, so that’s what really counts.

I did strike up a minor side project that was far more tolerant to frequent interruption, however, and added a new page to my site reflecting on the writing process, and the tools available to the combination of creative author and Linux geek:

The Writing Page

I’ve also retooled the color scheme. I don’t know that it’s as easy on the eyes, but it reflects a growing mood and preference that’s being applied to more and more of my devices.