Well, the move was exhausting but simple to execute based on good planning. We’re getting comfortable in the new place and doing our best to finish the last of the tidying up at the old one, since we close on that deal tomorrow.

I’m literally falling asleep while I’m writing this, so I’m going to bed. I was trying to do some blitz work to make sure everything was solid to hand off before I go off to vacation next week. But I did that last night too, so I’m really not up to it yet. That, and I don’t have PPTP configured just yet, so the VPN is off limits from this machine which I’m still trying to break in and get just how I like it (takes a while to get all the rough edges in any distro to match my idimomatic style). This just means I can’t work on anything other than email, but since I’m so tired it does’n really make sense trying to do even that. Oh well, I’ll take care of it tomorrow.

Every now and again patterns emerge in my speech which take me some time to erradicate. These range from simple components of a word or two, to repeated imagery and concepts. Some of the worst to ever strike have been “actually” and “rather.” Those each took me weeks to work out of my system (which I don’t consider fully purged until the replacement patterns, which have weaned me off the original whilst retaining the same usefulness and general structure, are also removed).

Currently I’m fighting “moving parts.” This metaphor has been extremely helpful in quickly describing the absolute complexity of the information systems at work, and the danger of introducing new, untested, or unknown factors. It also easily applies to the difficulty in keeping details straight in the overlap of home and work during the move to the new house. Too may things in either environment are losing out to an urgent counterpart in the other, and I end up being globally ineffectual because of it.

Given the situational hold, I think it will be some time before it stops being so useful; especially since I’m continuing to bring new staff on and it does illustrate that environment so aptly. I don’t mind this one so much.

There are other minor ones I’m still trying to boot though, including “abberrant,” “significant” & “significantly ( increases | reduces ),” and “still” & “just.” Makes me feel like uneducated and incomplete, with little control of my own mechanisms for communication. I should be a creature of rythm, but not habit – I want to make those decisions consciously instead of falling back to some pre-fabbed styrofoam packaged McPhrase.

At least it’s not so far as to be media buzz words like “persistent vegitative state” and “weapons of mass destruction.” I feel dirty typing those – even subverbalizing them. *shudder*

Sometimes I get edgy. For any of a variety of reasons.

I typically have 2 outlets: one is to throw myself vigorously at a task until it’s complete and/or I’m completely exhausted. This removes the immediate problem, but only forestalls resolution of the underlying issue. The second method is to identify that issue, and take care of it.

I’m doing the first one right now – applying myself at some support for an old employer on a one-night contract. It’s now 3:41am, so I’ve been at this for the last 5 ½ hours. It’s taking off the edge, but I’m really going to pay for this tomorrow. I might have to work from home on Friday just to stay productive.

Either way, Mike’s going to whup me at chess when I show up for work in the morning.

A couple months ago I decided it would be pointless to try writing a novel around my current schedule. I just don’t have the raw bank of time required to produce enough creative material so as to flow contiguously. I can create bits and pieces – but lack the time and attention of a master craftsman to assemble those tiles into a mosaic with any kind of grand meaning or flow. All I can do is meander around and make little doodles.

So, true to the desire to minimize labor as often found in programmers, I adjusted my expectations: don’t create something big. Try something that can be hung on the fridge before working up to the likes of Carivaggio & company. The new target: a short story, made from pieces I already know well. By lowering the complexity and boiling the task down to easily digestable nuggets I hope to increase the probability of success.

My first attempt is tentatively entitled “Passing On.” The setting is simple, voicing is from a single (though evolving) point of view, and the resolution is swift. Little research is required, and the method of presentation works well even when broken apart (making stuttered drafting acceptable). The protagonist is one Charles Becker, a recently retired man (have not yet decided his humble previous occupation) in his 60’s whose wife has just suffered an unexpected (no potential warning signs, no family history) stroke.

She has been an almost religious journal keeper; now Charles, faced with an uncertain future as he watches his wife’s life and health transformed, feels compelled to continue that regularity even if it wasn’t his to begin with. The method of evolving his entries into a clear representation of his character (not having been familiar with written expression previously) is challenge enough; to do so while he also undegoes this unique stress makes it a moving target. Still potentially difficult, but thankfully limited in scope.

Eventually Ruth dies. Having her slowly expire creates a poignant backdrop for the presentation of life. And not just her life; after-all, Charles has been married to this woman for roughly 40 years. He has no need to rehearse events or descriptions which to him are well known and documented in the body of her previous journals. Instead his writings will be reflection and insight on feeling as framed by new perspective wrought by circumstance.

Writing about a man’s deep and abiding love for his wife will be thoroughly enjoyable. Taking her from him to evoke the heightened stakes required for that tenderness to come about in such honest and innocent (though still retaining typical human flaws), unpretensious(sp?) manner sets a fertile stage.

Some of my notes and entry sketches will be making it here shortly. Thought I’d give you few readers a heads-up.